Digital Diary #6: You are the author of your own story, 4-1-2025
Two pieces from my digital diary, shared together as my truths continue to merge into one. The cracks of the tower were really the fissures of the current reality breaking open, a portal into the unknown just waiting to be explored.
Most of my poetry comes through like a whisper, that I can only hear when my mind is quiet and my heart is open to the flow🌀
𝘼 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧: As you begin to chip away at the plaster that encases the spirit within, you’ll find that it feels like falling from grace- like you committed a sin.
All the narratives you thread through your ever changing skin, unravel like old books passed down from your kin.
Loose pages will drift and fly away with the wind, and all you’ll be left with is what was hidden within.
The closest you’ll feel to source.
What’s a book with no binding, no pages for finding, no chapters reminding. Just a new story, waiting to unfold. Pure energy for your new self to mold- a story your truest self foretold.
As @erykahbadu would sing…𝘗𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘰
Have a great now🌈🦋🌌🌱🌟
Digital Diary #5: The body doesn’t lie, 3-28-2025
Quick post before I go MIA and run around climbing trees all weekend🌱
I love when insight comes through in humorous ways. Sensitivity is a super power and our body holds the blueprint to our health. All we need to do is connect with our unique ways of listening.
I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy the solar eclipse tomorrow🌞🦋💫
Digital Diary #4: Liminal Space, 3-23-2025
I made this video not because I have answers, but because I want to share what it’s like for me to move through the space between endings and beginnings.
I can feel the pull to my next space, my next leap into the unknown. I have no idea the how, the where, the why. That is my mind trying desperately to keep this version of myself alive. But my heart is not scared of death, of transition, of the unknown.
I’ve learned that the heart is the compass to our truth and the mind a tool of our survival. This video is an opportunity to witness myself and I’m sharing it for anyone else standing on the edge of their becoming, too❣️
I’m learning not to care about things that were never inherently fair. I’m no longer a victim of fear; I’ve learned it was here to help me hear.
The space in between my truth and my mask- the deep wells of my spirit, spread far and vast.
Climbing the rocky mountains of self, fear wanted me still, pretty on the shelf. A perfect doll, made of other people’s dreams; I danced so pretty while my insides screamed.
Echoes of who I used to be bursting from the seams. The palms of my hands, torn and scratched- from ripping apart my old act.
I found myself again in the darkness of the end, and planted the seed of life so I could live again.
This new skin, vulnerable and soft- the death of my old self, the final cost.
Thank you for reading, for listening, for witnessing. I’ll still be operating as usual for now and will keep you all updated as this next chapter unfolds🌀🌈🦋🌌🌱
Digital Diary #3 (Part 2): Recovering from the Mask, 3-19-2025
Continuing the theme of contraction to expansion. I have so much gratitude to the pain, the resistance, the friction that sparked the fire in my soul. How it got my feet dancing on the hot coals and led me to question all that I know.
Even amidst the chaos that we still see externally, our ancestors fought for the world we live in now-a world where I can speak so freely.
In the noise of it all, you may realize nothing really matters at all…and maybe, you are being given the opportunity to fall and rebuild without walls.
Pain and pleasure have long danced together. Dare to walk through the intensity of your souls density and you might find your wildest dreams waiting on the other side.🦋
With clear eyes, I see The strings of fate that tie you to me.
Visions of days spent, Saturated in pure unpleasantness.
Roots rotting-decayed, Tethered to an old sense of state.
Set free from society, Chained, left out to dry.
I find myself lost in its guise, Yet, my heart beats despite the pain. As I shed away the old decay, A new seed sprouts from the mud where I lay.
A lotus, reaching for the night sky, A bloom that lasts but a moment in time. Who am I to relinquish the lies?
Here and now, I dawn a new era, Crowning my head with the wisdom of pharaohs. And with clear eyes, I see The woven truth of who I’ll always be.
🌀🌈🦋🌌🌱
Digital Diary #3 (Part 1): Contraction before Expansion, 3-19-2025
This is a poem I wrote during one of my more painful periods. Just like death there is such a taboo about talking about a woman’s cycle and I’ve come to realize it’s because they go hand in hand. Both are symbols of transformation. Both have so much to teach us and both can free us from the illusions of a reality that doesn’t align with our hearts.
Current circumstances
Dictate I lie beneath the shades of my uterine pain.
Another opportunity to shed the parts of me that ask to be set free.
Past memories of who I used to be warring to flee.
My body gripped tightly to protect me from me.
Contraction and release,
Contraction and release,
Old blood surges out as I’m brought to my knees.
Ancient as the roots of the oldest tree
Entering the dark depths of my soul’s toiling sea.
Current circumstances
Usher me through another rebirth of me.
And in the stillness between I find I’m able to see,
the truth that my soul came here to be.
With every contraction-pain my lasting companion.
She cradles me as I shed in abandon.
Closer to source my branches reach,
grounded with roots that run ever so deep.
A force of love so beautiful-I weep.
Current circumstances guide me closer to me.
🌀🌈🦋🌌🌱🌞
Digital Diary #2: We are all going to die, so why not live? 3-14-2025
Still feeling the resistance to these posts, but I see the thread and I’m grabbing it and holding on tight!
I originally planned to post once a week, but I’ve decided that’s the bare minimum. If I feel the call, I’m not ignoring it anymore. Reminder after reminder keeps hitting me: life won’t wait for us. The only guarantee at the end of this journey is that we will die, so why not choose to live bravely and curiously along the way?
No matter what path we choose there will always be resistance and discomfort. I might as well choose the path that lights me up. The gold was never at the end of rainbow; it is in the joy of chasing it 🌈🌟
Digital Diary #1: Endings & Beginnings, 3-11-2025
I’m honestly surprised by how much resistance has bubbled to the surface in posting this.
But, that just tells me I’m following the right threads.
The voices in my head gave me every reason not to post. From my first video being filled with uhms and uncertainty, to my second being cut short, to blurry video quality and choppy audio, to will people even want to listen to this?
This morning, I remembered, that none of that matters. Perfection is just a fancy way of the mind holding you back from your own evolution; it is the denial of learning through the process. Like the resistance that strengthens our muscles during a workout, I can already see that posting these videos will only strengthen my resolve to choose myself further and follow my joy.
For those of you who made it to the end of my video, my training for the Death Doula program begins in April. Part of that training includes volunteer hours in end-of-life care spaces. I would truly love any recommendations/advice you have for volunteering at hospices, veteran hospitals, or other end-of-life care facilities.
If you have a loved one in transition who is looking for companionship, help around the house, or just a listening ear, please reach out to me❣️
𝐀𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝟐𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝟖:𝟒𝟐𝐩𝐦
I don’t know where I’m going,
I know I no longer feel lonely,
But the turmoil inside
Rakes at my mind,
Asking me to shed the way I used to be
And rebuild this new sense of me.
My attachment to what I thought was real
Now runs after me, nipping at my heels,
And I can’t see beyond the fog ahead,
But anything is better than the noise in my head.
Should I fall on my face,
I hope to tumble into place,
Where my heart takes the lead,
Live by a new creed,
And learn how to just be.
The camera not being able to focus on my face kinda makes me angry LOL
🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀
It’s okay to be angry
when you don’t feel free
It’s okay to be angry
when all you want to do is just be
It’s okay to be angry,
I say when I look in the mirror at me
So what now?
What do I do with my anger?
I’ve sat with it,
cried with it,
screamed with it,
And now it sits in the pit of my stomach,
a constant ache that calls me to it
There’s no ignoring the roiling
that calls for my own uncoiling
It screams for retribution
It calls for my own evolution
I ache for this transmutation
to find peace in the solution
But it asks me to sit in the sea of emotion,
to let the waves of anger wash over me,
to stop and sit in the commotion
And as I’m thrown and my body thrashed and bashed,
I hope to fall into the eye of the storm
where all is calm, and I can finally laugh
Peace was always mine to have,
as anger was only one side of the half
